by Sherrie Wells
I’ve been dreading this day for the last month. It’s Brady’s birthday! He would have been 2 years old. I cannot begin to tell you just how much we miss our baby; it’s just about as debilitating as your worst nightmare. There isn’t an hour that I don’t think about him, he was just so special. I would have loved to watch him grow up as I truly believe he would have made a significant difference in our crazy world.
Instead, what Sherrie and I have are our memories. They are beautiful thoughts of a warm, loving baby. I don’t know how we are going to get through today. We have invited around 40 people (friends, neighbors and family) to our home to celebrate Brady’s birthday. I wish I had to ability to invite everyone who has reached out to us but unfortunately that just isn’t possible. I’m sorry if we hurt anyone’s feelings but hopefully you will understand.
I have lived a relatively good portion of my life and I have had my share of both good and bad times. However, the past several weeks have brought me new levels of emotional extremes. On the positive side, Brady and the Hugs for Brady Foundation will hopefully bring some much needed resources and financial assistance to pediatric cancer. The Foundation is off to a “good” start and I am so confident with Sherrie’s organizational skills and all the people who are involved with the Hugs for Brady Foundation will someday be as successful as the Susan G. Komen organization.
The dark side of Brady’s passing is dealing with the (at times) overwhelming sense of loss. I miss our baby so much it physically hurts. I know there are supposedly 5 stages of grieving (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) but just because I know how to throw a split finger fastball does not make me a major league pitcher. I guess a “shrink” would say that illustrates I’m in the anger phase or by explaining it does it mean I’ve progressed to the bargaining phase? Just a bunch of crap! I miss my son and it’s really that simple! I miss him waking up in the mornings, I miss his laugh, I miss him on my back during our nightly walks, I miss giving him his bath, I miss his sweet voice, I just miss everything about him. This whole cancer thing makes absolutely no sense at all. We are without our baby and it just stinks!
Now all that said; life goes on and I am ever so confident that Brady would insist we live our lives out to the fullest by honoring his legacy. Easier said than done but in my mind, the only way Brady’s death makes any sense at all is to make pediatric cancer disappear from the face of the earth. The Hugs for Brady Foundation will do everything we can to aid that goal. There are many “things” we are working on and as the weeks pass we will try to keep everyone posted on our progress.
We will have a new website in the next month and a major component of that site will be a blog. I will try to write something in the blog at least once a week. Please check out the current website www.hugsforbrady.org for the winner of the Super 50/50 Raffle which will be drawn later this evening. The next major events are the Platelets and Ice Cream Celebration at Confectionately Yours on September 1st. We also hope to announce the winner of the Hyundai Elantra car that evening. Stop by it’s always a good time for ice cream. On Halloween there’s going to be a Super Car Show, a costume party and “trunk or treats” along with a motorcycle run, can’t wait, it should be lots of fun!
Yes, there are lots of things going on and we will let you know before the end of this year where we plan to spend all the money we’ve raised. To date, it’s over $20,000.00 and growing. Sherrie is devoting virtually all of her time to making the Hugs for Brady Foundation a success and I am just blown away by her commitment and drive. She is just a remarkable person and I am truly blessed to have her as my wife, friend and lover.
Finally, I would be so remiss if I did not thank every one of you who took the time to read and more importantly write in the Brady Michael Caringbridge blog. You helped Sherrie and me get through our darkest hours of fear, despair and sorrow more than you will ever know. We would have fallen a part without you and we may still fall apart even with you, but thanking each and every one of you will never ever be significant to truly express our love for you. Thank you!!!
So, this will be my last entry in Caringbridge and as I have ended almost all of my entries requesting Hugs, Prayers, and Good Thoughts; today is no exception. But today from Sherrie and me we would like to send our Prayers, Hugs and Good Thoughts back to you. Thank you and please remember; pediatric cancer can only be stopped if you get involved… Good-bye for now; from Sherrie, Michael and the most wonderful baby in the entire world our Brady!!!
Happy Birthday Bear…
“8 Years Later—Still No Cure for Pediatric Cancer” is a series of posts revisiting the journal kept by Sherrie and Michael Wells during the cancer diagnosis and treatment of their son, Brady Michael. Hopefully these entires will provide an understanding of the journey families face when dealing with these horrific diseases and of the important work the Hugs for Brady Foundation does.